There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize