Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
