Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
