i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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