So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
