Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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