In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
