May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
