I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
