i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
