my sisters under your porch take her home
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize