Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
