So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
