He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
