the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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