I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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