How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I need a beard to bite.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
