I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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