well you can't waste a boner
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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