i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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