I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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