ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
