we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
