CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
