But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
