did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
