I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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