I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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