i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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