3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
