btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
