bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
