My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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