I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I AM VODKA MAN
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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