i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
