afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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