i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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