i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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