Sry I called you an 8
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize