I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can I color on your dick again?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
