Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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