I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
