Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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