Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
