Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
