We're facebook friends in real life
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize