i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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