a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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