yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
