My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we're so committed to being not committed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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