i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize