oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
