Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
