she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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