3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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