If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
