Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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