There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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