hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
