chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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