He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
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