why didn't you poke me back
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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