And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
