i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize