New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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