I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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