Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
