none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
