I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
