Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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