he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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