Grow some girl-balls and come out already
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
