JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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