I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
